Have you been asked, "But what about socialization?"
If so, you’re far from alone. It seems like it’s one of the most common myths out there about homeschool families. Somehow, somewhere, a rumor got started that homeschooled kids are sheltered and never interact with other human beings. Others are believing the faulty idea that socialization and forced association are the same thing. These folks tend to think the only way kids can learn to socialize is if they’re put in a room with dozens of kids the same age as them.
So if you’re tired of hearing, “What about socialization?”, here are some silly, point-proving, petty ways of responding that might prevent them from asking another homeschooler.
"Oh I Know... It's So Sad, Isn't It?"
When people question socialization so broadly, I like to start out with a vague statement, and then turn it around on to them.
The full response may look something like this, “Oh I know. It’s so sad isn’t it? I mean, the public school system seriously doesn’t give kids any chance to learn proper socialization. They force them to spend most of their time with other kids who also haven’t learned how to socialize. Then they tell them all they have to sit silently at a desk and not speak to anyone. Isn’t it crazy? Like, I am so glad my kids learn real-world socialization skills by interacting with people of all age groups. How are you teaching your kids social skills?”
Sometimes a snarky response like this can make a person think a little bit about what’s really going on in the classroom.
"What Do You Mean? What Are You Concerned About?"
False naivety can sometimes bring amazing results. Asking genuine questions of the “asker” often causes the person to realize they don’t even really know what they mean. For example, a conversation may go like this:
Public Schooler (PS): What about socialization?
Homeschooler (HS): What do you mean?
PS: Aren’t you concerned about socialization?
HS: Not really, why? Do you think I should be?
PS: Well, I mean, kids need to be around other kids.
HS: You know, I’ve heard that, but I don’t really understand it. Can you explain why they need that?
PS: Well, how are they going to learn to socialize then?
HS: I just kind of assumed they would learn that they way everyone else learned to socialize before there were public schools. But maybe I’m wrong… So, does it matter how many kids they’re around? Or how much time they spend with them?
PS: I don’t know, but if you homeschool, they’re never going to be around any other kids.
HS: Oh, that’s interesting. So… do you think social skills only come from other kids?
PS: What do you mean?
HS: I want my kids to learn how to socialize from interacting with people of different cultures, ages, and beliefs. I really don’t think their only source of learning social skills should be other kids who also don’t know how to socialize.
"Huh? Oh, I Don't Let My Kids Socialize" and Other Sarcastic Responses.
There are some people out there who truly do not understand homeschooling. A smaller minority of those have absolutely no desire to understand homeschooling. They have essentially decided homeschooling is wrong and so they are going to criticize everyone who chooses that option for their family. There is nothing you can say or do that is going to change their mind. You can argue with them until you’re blue in the face, but they’re still going to be critical. In those instances, sometimes the best thing to do is to simply give a sarcastic response, and keep walking. A few alternative sarcastic responses may include:
- “It’s against my religion”
- “I don’t let them leave the house.”
- “No thanks.”
- “Kids need to socialize? I thought we were supposed to keep them hidden!”
- “That’s why we homeschool…”
Truly Educational Response About Socializing
If it truly seems the person wants to understand homeschooling, I try to educate kindly and empathetically. A true response may sound something like this:
“You know, I used to think homeschoolers were unsocialized. But after researching I realized that honestly a lot of homeschoolers spend more time learning how to interact with others than public school kids could ever dream of! Because homeschooling only takes a couple of hours, we have so much more time to spend with our homeschool co-op, play groups, sports, community theater, etc. We couldn’t do anywhere near all of those activities if the kids were stuck at desks all day being told to, ‘sit down and shut up.'”
Utter Shock and Fear
This is one I have not admittedly done, but a big part of wants to give it a try. Yes, this one could go in the sarcastic response, but I thought it deserved a section of its own.
When someone asks about socialization, why not look at them in utter surprise or fear and shout in a panicked voice, “Oh no! Socializing? I forgot to socialize them! Oh my goodness! How terrible! What am I going to do? Oh goodness! Kids, come on! Let’s leave the park where you’re with your friends so we can go socialize! Come on! Hurry!” And then gather everyone quickly and leave.