New homeschoolers often feel overwhelmed, fear being inadequate, or just have no idea where to start or what to do. Here are my main pieces of advice for those who are new to homeschooling.
1. You're not going to ruin your kids
I’ve heard people say, “I am just so afraid I’m going to ruin my kids,” or “What if I destroy their potential?”
You’re not going to. If you are trying your best (and the fact that you’re reading this tells me you are), you are going to succeed and so are your children.
When you start feeling this way, look at the public school system and kids that have graduated from it. Look at how many public school graduates are unable to read. Look at how many have dropped out of high school. The public school fails kids every single day. You’re not going to do any worse than what they can do.
2. You are not going to be perfect
On the other side of the coin, some new homeschoolers think they are going to be the best homeschooling parents ever. Then when their child is delayed learning to read, or has a bad couple of days, those parents consider themselves a horrible failure and throw in the towel.
The fact is, you are NOT going to be perfect. There are things you’re going to do great at! There are also things you’re going to be sub-par at. And that’s okay. It’s to be expected.
There are going to be days when you’re going to get angry. You might yell, scream, or say something out of frustration. Maybe you will threaten to send your kids back to public school. You could even throw your hands in the air, turn on cartoons, and retreat to your bedroom for a good cry.
But then you’re going to pull yourself back together, get up, and try again. And it’s going to teach your kids to be persistent. And then your child is going to read their first word on their own, and you’re going to be so glad you made it through!
3. It's okay to take a break
There will be times in your homeschool journey that you feel you’re at a breaking point. You might be rocking a sick baby. Maybe you’ll be running back and forth to the hospital to spend time with a terminally ill family member. You might be overwhelmed with family coming in to visit for the holidays. Or maybe you’ll just be in a state where your mental health is suffering.
When those things happen, it’s okay to push schoolwork to the back burner for a short time.
Children don’t just learn when they have a book in front of them. Education is a life-long, constant event. Taking a break doesn’t mean the kids aren’t going to learn anything. Instead, kids are going to learn skills like properly prioritizing mental health, and showing compassion and empathy to those who are suffering.
It’s also sometimes helpful to find out what’s happening in the public school world. How often do classrooms have substitute teachers and the kids just watch “educational videos” and do busy like like cross-word puzzles or word searches? If public school classrooms can take a break, we can too!
4. You don't need (or want) to emulate the public school
If you’ve decided to homeschool your children, it’s quite possible that you are doing so because you notice some of the failures of the public school system. As such, do you really want to copy the way that same system does things?
You don’t have to have a desk, a classroom, or even textbooks to homeschool your kids. School work doesn’t have to happen first thing in the morning or even Monday through Friday. You don’t need to use texts or quizzes. You are your own boss and you can do things in a way that works best for your family.
5. You don't have to justify your decision
While homeschooling is certainly gaining in popularity, there are still a lot of naysayers out there and it’s easy to get discouraged. When family or friends start to question your decisions, or even quiz your kids to see if they know what the well-meaning quizzer thinks they should know, it’s easy to feel inadequate or to question your decision. It’s also easy to get your feelings hurt and to engage in back and forth debates that lead nowhere but to divisions in families.
If you know that homeschooling is what’s best for your family at this time in your life, my recommendation is to let others know clearly that the decision is not up for debate. When someone begins criticizing, if you know they are not interested in actually understanding, but rather they just want their way, it’s okay to say, “Thanks for your input but i’m not interested in discussing our parental decisions with you. Let’s find something else to talk about.”
Education choices, just like all other parenting choices, should be made by the parents, who know their children better than anyone else does.